Au Pair House Rules: Template, Examples, and Tips for Host Families
How to create clear house rules for your au pair in the Netherlands. Includes a template with 8 categories, practical examples, and tips for a fair agreement.
Your au pair is about to become part of your household. They'll share your kitchen, your routines, and your daily life. That's a lot of adjustment for everyone — and clear house rules make it so much easier.
Good house rules aren't about control. They're about clarity. When expectations are written down and agreed upon, there's less room for misunderstanding and more space for a positive relationship.
Why house rules matter
Most au pair conflicts come down to unspoken expectations. Maybe you assumed the kitchen would be cleaned after every meal. Maybe your au pair didn't realize guests needed to be discussed in advance. These aren't character flaws — they're gaps in communication.
Written house rules solve this by making the implicit explicit. They also:
- Protect both parties — if something goes wrong, you can refer back to what was agreed
- Help au pairs adjust — especially when moving to a new country with different norms
- Align with official regulations — besides house rules, there are also national au pair rules in the Netherlands. It helps to have both covered
- Satisfy agency requirements — many placement agencies expect documented household agreements
What categories to cover
A thorough set of house rules typically covers eight areas. You don't need a novel for each — a few clear points per category is plenty.
| Category | Examples |
|---|---|
| Kitchen | Cleaning up after meals, shared vs. personal food, appliance usage |
| Guests | Whether overnight guests are allowed, quiet hours, advance notice |
| Curfew | Weekday and weekend return times, key/lock arrangements |
| Cleaning | Shared responsibilities, frequency, which areas are the au pair's |
| Laundry | Laundry days, machine usage, ironing expectations |
| Technology | Wi-Fi usage, screen time during childcare, shared devices |
| Safety | Emergency contacts, first aid, car usage rules, child safety specifics |
| Other | Smoking policy, pet care, cultural or dietary preferences |
Manage house rules digitally?
Create house rules, share with your au pair, and export as PDF. Try Opairly for free →
Opairly tip: You can manage all these categories digitally. Set up house rules in Opairly and share them instantly with your au pair — no more printing or emailing. Start your free trial →
Tips for writing fair and effective rules
1. Be specific, not vague
"Keep the kitchen clean" means different things to different people. "Wipe down counters and load the dishwasher after each meal" leaves no room for confusion.
2. Explain the why
Rules land better when there's a reason behind them. "Please don't use the front door after 22:00 — the baby's room is right above it" is much easier to respect than a bare instruction.
3. Make it a conversation
Don't hand your au pair a finished document. Go through the rules together during the first week — see our getting started guide for tips. Ask if anything is unclear or feels unfair. This builds trust and gives them a chance to share their own needs too.
4. Keep it reasonable
Your au pair is a young adult, not an employee on a strict contract. Rules like "no phone during any waking hours" or "no visitors ever" will damage the relationship. Aim for boundaries that you'd find reasonable yourself.
5. Include the positives
House rules don't have to be a list of restrictions. Include things like "Feel free to use the garden anytime" or "The living room TV is available after 20:00." It sets a welcoming tone.
6. Review and update
Situations change. Maybe a rule about curfew needs adjusting after the first month, or a cleaning arrangement isn't working. Schedule a casual check-in after a few weeks to see what needs tweaking.
Documenting your rules
Verbal agreements are forgotten quickly. Write your house rules down and make sure both parties have a copy. This is also important for your placement agency — many require a signed household agreement as part of the au pair arrangement.
With Opairly, you can manage your house rules directly in the app. Create rules by category, update them when needed, and export a clean PDF or Excel document whenever your agency requests one. Both the host family and au pair have access, so everyone stays on the same page.
Get a ready-made house rules template
Don't want to start from scratch? Download our free template and start documenting your agreements today.
Free download: Download our house rules template (PDF) →
The template covers all 8 categories with space to fill in your own rules, plus a signature section for the au pair and host parents.
Want to manage it digitally? Opairly comes with 20 pre-written house rule templates covering all 8 categories. You can customize them for your household and export a professional PDF or Excel document — ready to share with your au pair and agency. Start your free trial →
A good start sets the tone
The first few weeks of an au pair placement are crucial. Clear house rules show your au pair that you've thought things through and that you care about making the arrangement work. It's not about being strict — it's about being fair, transparent, and organized.
Take an hour to write your rules before your au pair arrives. You'll thank yourself later. Then pair your house rules with a clear weekly schedule and make sure working hours are properly tracked.
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